Marge the sea cow – Zero vanity! She ate so much – Pure insanity! Got so damn fat! (excuse profanity) She makes us exclaim “Oh, the huge...

Last night our toilet died - bum luck We couldn't get the thing unstuck Dad called our plumber, Don McFred "Oh please come help us" Papa...

Something strange is happening. I’ve noticed something odd. Construction crews descending on streets that don’t seem flawed. I wonder,...

I’ve got my cape, I’ve got my whip I’m not scared in the least! I’ll teach it not to buck or bite I’ll tame this wild beast! And when I’m...

Today was great! I can't complain... We drove on down Gas Station Lane Tons of pumps And drums and cans The perfect drive For station...

Superglue makers must make tons of money, They probably laugh and think it's funny It works just fine the first time but Then the...

As I urge my hefty frame up and down the court, I reflect on days long passed… …days when I would effortlessly glide around the hardwood....

The teacher at the chalk board. Each students in their spot. Some of them are learning. Most of them are not. The teacher is determined...

Once upon a time a chicken named Dirk Thought that it we quite absurd That for some odd reason his wings wouldn’t work After all he was a...

You drove your car in Found a place to park it Looking for a bargain At the local market You just ran out of eggnog You needed some more...

A man took a woman and threw her She landed right in some manure She let out a big yell Didn't smell very well Then people were ashamed...

You enter through the doorway. I start to feel the pain. You pound me into heartless walls for cold and thoughtless gain. You cry out in...

Disclaimer: If this offends you, lighten up! I am well aware this is not accurate in all cases. Heck, that's not even the point of this...

The glass bottle sits. Unharmed. The gunfire quiets. They are out of BB's. Two teenage boys that are not quite ready to find a new hobby....

I go walking every day And as I walk I usually stay Right along the main highway But today I went a different way And why I did I cannot...

The rubber chicken.... When you think about it, it really is quite a remarkable invention. I mean, who the hell thought of it? Who the...

Something happened... it's really weird My belly button disappeared It's rather sad, I'm so forlorn I've lost my proof that I was born...

I met her. I dated her. I married her. She took a lot of medical type classes. She had a lot of medical type books. One day she brought...

I had bad breath Oh golly gee And so I ate some potpourri It tasted weird But did the trick But now I feel a little sick But not as sick...

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry now! You really need to hustle To get the newest wonder drug - It turns fat into muscle! I started on it yesterday...